Bury me on the Pelham Parkway at the Unicorn House

Marisa and I drove along the Pelham Parkway last night. She wanted to show me the Unicorn House that almost made her drive off the road on the way to work in the morning.

We pulled over and I jumped out to take pictures. People live in this place, it is not a statue business or a weird wedding hall. While taking pictures I hollared at Marisa that there were live humans inside, one with a mass of crazy red hair, like Patricia Field and a bald old man, just chillin. Marisa noted that there was a pool. Later when we were driving away she mentioned that maybe this was a hobby of ours. I think I would like to pursue this hobby more. As of today, this is where I hope I go when I die. I would like to sip pina coladas and eat tiny weiners atop a unicorn while watching the traffic on the parkway. Afterwards, I would take a dip in the pool for a million years or a second, however times works in the afterworld.

p.s. yes that is a chandelier hanging outside and yes those are religious icons being suffocated in weatherproof plastic. Also, there is a santa claus with sleigh, etc., on the roof.

Grampa Scrimshaw

This old man came to fix the tub in my apartment. I asked him if he was a sailor because he was wearing an old timey sailor cap and all sorts of nautical flair.
"Nope," he said, "I make scrimshaw" and he took out an Altoids box and opened it up. Inside was a handcrafted needle with an eraser stuck on top and little pieces of ivory he was working on. I noticed all his flair was scrimshaw. He even had a belt buckle with a huge Clipper ship. He said he was once asked to do presentations down at South Street Seaport for tourists, I thought that was beneath him but I held that to myself. He should be in a gallery. I wanted to this man to be my grandfather and scrimshaw mentor.